Just your average girl Nothing special:]

I feel dead inside… Sadness is swallowing me whole. I feel alone and lost.. I’ve missed out on nothing, but somehow i’m still unsatisfied. This feeling just overwhelming feeling. It hates me. It haunts me, I feel empty. I want to cry and for what? Nothing. I don’t know what’s wrong and i can’t talk to anyone about it. There’s no point. No one can fix this. I shake i feel nothing. I’m wounded and broken. I’ve lost all who is close to me and some how i can’t find my way back up. It’s like i’m drowning in an ocean without an oxygen tank. I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating.. Suffocating in my own emotional waves. It’s like a roller coaster. I don’t mean to hurt people i don’t mean to cause harm to myself… But somehow i do. Why? I don’t know. Am i depressed? I don’t know. I ask myself these questions all the time.. Lately i don’t even want to move on. I’m entering a new world, new life.. The real world.. I have no guidance and no one close to me anymore that i trust. People who i thought were my closest friends talk about me. People who i trusted and now i can’t even trust myself. I don’t know what to do. But right now? I want to hurt.. I want to cry i want to shake and run off somewhere alone. Can i? No. I don’t know how to fix myself. I don’t know how to change or stop myself from hurting. I keep getting these swings of emotion. I can’t help but feel upset. I feel broken. Like every part of my body has been shattered repeatedly and left to be burned and thrown in a bottom of an ocean and forgotten about. One day i will die. One day i will be forgotten. One day i won’t be remembered or missed. When that day will be? Who knows. But right now it all scares me. I’m scarred. I’m hurting. I’m wounded. I’m lost. I’m upset. I can’t pinpoint anything. I’m emotionless, contradictive, a mess. Who knows how to fix the broken?

Honestly ten years from now who the fuck is going to remember what you did in highschool.. like really?